Come on guys, where is your confidence gone? You must have realised by now that men and women are attracted to different things, and top of the list for a woman isn’t a 6 pack, a full head of luscious hair, cultivated by rubbing in the extract of an unpronounceable reptile, who’s habitat is deep in the Amazonian rain forest, and costs more than the national debt of Europe to acquire! (Leave that for us, our hair lasts longer and needs far more maintenance!
No, what we want is confidence.
Men often complain to me that no matter how nice they are, they just can’t find a nice woman. Many men have come in to my life and fallen in to the dreaded abyss of the ‘Friend Zone’ before the first meeting is over…. These are the men that make too much effort, that constantly seek approval for everything they do. Do I think they look nice? Honestly, that isn’t that important! Don’t get me wrong, if you turn up in a Rupert the bear style jacket, slacks and pumps with no socks, I’m going to find you more amusing than nicely dressed, even if you accidentally leave the price tag on and it cost more than my last months’ rent, but if your clean and ironed, then I’m good thanks. Where do I want to eat? If you don’t like pizza, then say no to my suggestion of the Italian down the road! Stand up for yourself.
I would much rather go somewhere that we can both enjoy than sit watching you weep in to your margarita worrying about how the wheat intolerance you have developed is going to cause us some embarrassing moments later in the evening!!
When you look around, you see so many beautiful women with mediocre men, and ask yourself how they do it, well, the simple answer is, they are mediocre MEN, and we want a man! If you seek approval constantly, you’re going to make a woman feel like your mother, and let’s face it, after a woman has children, and realises how much hard work they are, who wants to take on the role again, knowing that this one could be for life! Enter….. The Friend Zone, where she likes you, your harmless, she can help you out and pander to your ego, but in small doses. She can step away for a break when you get to needy. But romantic feelings…. Forget it, isn’t ever going to happen my friend.
Now, having a lot of men in my life that are just friends, we have managed to move forward and I get to hear all about the problems they encounter with other women that come in to their life. It seems to me that women make a lot of the same mistakes. As much as men think that being super nice is the way to a woman’s heart, and are disappointed and surprised that it doesn’t work, but when I point out that the complaints they have about certain women that come in to their lives are due to the same behaviour that I have spent months knocking out of them, they are shocked!
Clingy women who can’t say no!
Yes, we’ve all done it. You meet a man, who maybe has a friend like me… They try a new approach, they act cool, they stand up for themselves, and suddenly, like magic, the woman feels the attraction. They wonder if this could be the one! They start to fantasize, they wait for the calls, they text little ‘night night’ messages, they call just to see where he is, what he’s doing, asking if he misses her. Meanwhile, the man has realised that he likes the games at the beginning, he wants to miss her, to look forward to seeing her, but you’re not giving him the chance to try out his new skills, your smothering him. He then gets bored and slowly but surly backs off.
A woman always seems to want the opposite of what she has, so giving her everything results in her wanting a little space, when you give her less, she wants you more.
When the man has run for the hills, it’s then the girls that come around to me complaining that they did everything for this man, always put him first, cancelled plans (some with me I might add!) to meet him for a last minute date. Well more fool you girls; you just had what you wanted and you drove it away!
It seems that we always want what we can’t have, that is human nature, and has allowed us to evolve. We strive for more, we fight for what we want, and it gives us a fizz in our tummy that fortunately isn’t caused by too much bread, so it’s a good fizz. Depriving your suitor of this is cruel!
Men and women are so different, but so alike
Today’s advice is; it’s good to say no sometimes! Actually, it’s essential to say no! See your friends, go have fun, no man will ever replace them, so don’t give the girls time to replace you in your absence, after all, you will want someone to dress up in a bridesmaid dress one day!